it's almost worst, because I know when I confront him about it he's going to just act like I'm being completely insane. She lives in his hometown 3000 miles away but that doesn't make any difference. He's constantly IMing with her, texting her, exchanging emails he closes if I get to close to the computer... Especially with the current turbulence in our relationship right now it's all too much. Wow. totally unloading on you right now, haha sorry.
I think it is worse, personally. The mind is both the strongest and weakest part of a person I think, because when things like this pop up it drives us crazy. In my experience, people that are open windows don’t freak out if you get to close to the computer. Transparency is like trust times 1000 - if he feels bad/guilty about doing something and tries to hide it then go with your gut. You’re 100% right - it doesn’t matter where she lives, as long as he is acting shady you SHOULD worry because his mind is elsewhere. Guys have this thing where we don’t want to hurt someone, so we won’t say this or that, or we don’t do this or that, when usually hiding things behind someone’s back is 10 times worse than just being upfront and honest and transparent. Don’t feel bad about unloading, you obviously need to. Message me any time you need to talk.